I See You, Beautiful Ecclesia

At 4, I wrote:

“Dear Annerley Church of Christ,

When Mum sings the hymns, I press my ear to her heart. Her voice is there but I hear a bigger sound as if the whole church sings in her. Like when I listen to a shell and I can hear the ocean. How did all that music get in her? Whose voice is it that I hear?”

At 10, I wrote:

“Dear Annerley Church of Christ,

I like being an angel with Wendy. Together we take a big breath to sing the whole long ‘Glooooooo-ria.’ The angel dress is prettier than the Mary dress, but I think I’d like to be Mary one Christmas. I know the angels sing God’s message but I like the look on Mary’s face, like she has heard God’s voice and is about to say something back.”

At 16, I wrote (anonymously):

“Dear Annerley Church of Christ,

My boyfriend is coming to the church retreat. He’s not a Christian. Will you talk about God so he might understand? He will probably swear. Will he feel welcome?”

As a 22 year-old seminary student, I wrote (with tears):

“Dear Denomination,

The things you say don’t always sound like the things I hear from God. I want to submit to the people God has put in authority over me. But I don’t know what to do with this thing stirring in me that sounds different from what you’re saying about how God can use me.”

As a 30 year-old mother, I wrote:

“Dear American church,

I still believe God speaks through you. But right now it’s really hard to hear his voice in yours. Are you still the best place to find him?”

Dear Denomination, the things you say don’t always sound like the things I hear from God. But I don’t know what to do with this thing stirring in me that sounds different from what you’re saying about how God can use me.” Share on X

As a 42 year-old Assistant Pastor, I wrote:

“Dear Church,

We’re sorry.

We’re sorry for forgetting that Jesus promised to be the one who would build you.

We’ve forgotten that you are not built entirely by our cleverness, our strategies, our hard work.

We’re sorry that we’ve forgotten Jesus’ promise that the Gates of Hades would not prevail against you.

We’ve fought for your sake to the point of division and hatred within the church and without.

We’ve felt the ends justify the means, doing all kinds of damage to one another, to the world and to our witness in the name of protecting you.

We’re sorry.

We’re sorry that we felt it was our task to keep you pure and make you perfect.

We forgot that Jesus was the one who purifies you, who prepares you for oneness with him.

We’ve made you a system, an institution, a factory, an army, a political party, a social club.

Remind us who you are, who we are.

Your Belovedness is unshakable.

Your calling is sure.

Your future is secure.

We don’t see it yet. 

May we have courage to live as if it’s true so that it might become true in us.

We forgot that Jesus was the one who purifies you, who prepares you for oneness with him. We’ve made you a system, an institution, a factory, an army, a political party, a social club. Remind us who you are, who we are. Share on X

At 54, as a Senior Pastor and ‘weary-hopeful’ Child of God, I write:

“Dear Timeless Ecclesia, Beloved Bride of Jesus,

You have been bruised and abused, used to appease our hungers. 

Sent out to other lovers against your will. 

You have been chained and restrained, denied your true power, and forced to embrace false power. Made into a political puppet, manipulated to manipulate and coerce.

You have been made to produce—a factory to pump out products.

You have been made to perform, to impress.

You have been made to fight, forced to crusade for twisted causes.

But I see you.

None of this was your choice but ours.

I see how your eyes are dulled as you act out this puppet play for us, playing the two-dimensional caricatures of our making, flat versions of your true character.

I see how your heart still longs for your Beloved.

I know that given the smallest opportunity, you run to him, hair streaming, skirts flying, back home to your first love. Back home to yourself.

He will receive you back. He already has.

In all the ways you’ve been abused, beloved Ecclesia, remember your true self. 

Fiercely protect the place deep in you where His Name is written, a truth which defies all the abuse.

Your Beloved left his Father to cling to you. The two have become One.

He has set aside his own self, his own rights, his own self-preservation to make you His Own.

He loved you more than he loves his own survival, giving his body to ensure you would have what you need.

Whatever the world says of you, how stained you are, how broken, He calls you Holy. 

He calls you radiant. In his eyes there is not even a stain or a wrinkle or any blemish in you. 

The world says, “Broken beyond hope.” 

But Christ declares, “Blameless and beautiful.”

This is a profound mystery.

Do not forget yourself.

Do not forget Him.

~Rev. Dr. Mandy Smith

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*Editorial Note: Letters to the Church is Missio Alliance’s newest long-form series. The latest letter to our growing collection will go live each Friday throughout the rest of 2025. We invite you to prayerfully listen to the Spirit as you read, asking God what you might say to the Church in your own voice. ~CK

“Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what God is saying to the churches.” (Revelation 2:29)

In all the ways you’ve been abused, beloved Ecclesia, remember your true self. Fiercely protect the place deep in you where His Name is written, a truth which defies all the abuse. Share on X